The White Elephant in My Room
A decade ago, I wrote the following piece for Jewneric, a blog that no longer exists. In the intervening years, it has remained mostly true, with a few glaring exceptions. There have been a few romantic partners who have rejected me due to my lack of fluency, there have been exactly two professional opportunities I know I lost because of reasons associated with it, and there have been a couple of sleepless nights.
The list of things I have done has grown. I’ve interviewed rockstars, negotiated multi-million dollar deals, and been flown all over the world to speak to people.
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The White Elephant in My Room: My Stutter
I stutter. But I am not a stutterer.
It does not define me; rather it complements me.
Through the course of history, individuals who stutter have entered into all realms of life. In a religious sense, Moses stuttered. Yet so did Marilyn Monroe. As did James Earl Jones (“This is AT&T”), Isaac Newton, Winston Churchill, and numerous other famous people. And many more unknown people, perhaps because of their speech.
When I made Aliyah, and first went to a doctor, I saw that they wrote that down on my chart. When I went to recruitment centre, I noticed that they wrote that on my profile.
And that shocked me. It has nothing to do with my ability at all: I give business presentations, I act under pressure, and I am extremely talkative and fluent in multiple languages. I get my point across. And I hope that the content of that point is worth it.
I noticed an article on the front page of the newspaper Haaretz (in Hebrew) today, regarding Organization of Stutterers in Israel (AMB”I). Apparently, their 10th Annual Conference will take place tomorrow.
The three major messages of the conference are:
- For HR people, there is no reason not to hire someone because he stutters, as you may lose a genius.
- For those looking for a life partner, don’t give up.
- And for those who speak with those who stutter – don’t help them. They know the word, and your help is no help at all. Give a few more seconds of your time instead.
Personally, I don’t know if I ever was refused a job due to lack of elocution, but I know that a close friend of mine once told me that she could not date me because of it.
That doesn’t keep me up at night.
It did when I was younger. For all intents and purposes, until college.
Instead, my time now is full of people who talk to me. My speech impediment taught me how to listen.